Can God Hear Me?
I was in LifeWay the other day looking to put to use the gift card given to Christina and I by my aunt and uncle for Christmas. Since it was my aunt and uncle that gave us the gift, I decided that I would get something for myself. I felt a bit strange being selfish in a Christian bookstore, but the feeling quickly passed when I saw my favorite author, Philip Yancey, had a new book out called Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? While prayer has not been at the forefront of my current ministerial or theological thinking, I decided I'd put aside everything else I was reading and spend time in what I assume to be another wonderful Yancey book. So far, so good.
While I'm only a few pages in, I can't help but think of what my "prayer life" currently looks like. I will occasionally put everything in my office aside, turn my chair away from my desk and computer, rest my elbows on my knees, interlock my fingers, close my eyes and softly speak to God for a few minutes. After running out of things to say I sit in silence for a moment, giving God the opportunity to speak back if He would like, then, after hearing nothing but silence, I return to whatever I was doing before I told God everything I wanted Him to know.
Something just doesn't seem right about that.
Right now Levi is laying on his bed waiting for me to bring a treat in his room and put it on his baseball stool. I told him I would put a piece of candy in his room tonight because he was really good today, and in the morning when he wakes up he can eat the treat. But in an effort to get him to go to sleep I told him that I couldn't bring the treat until he was sleeping. I tried hyping it up by comparing it to Christmas, but he's not really buying that. He's now called out to me twice to tell me that he's asleep and that I can go ahead and bring the treat in. When I walk past his room he quickly shuts his eyes as hard as he can and slowly peaks out to see if I'm watching him "sleep." I'm not sure how to convince a 3-year old that sleep is more than just laying still and closing your eyes.
In the same way I'm having trouble grasping the fact that prayer is more than just closing your eyes and softly whispering words into the air. Prayer, like sleep, is a state of being. Prayer is not words, it's time spent deepening our relationship with an invisible God. "...prayer only seems like an act of language. Fundamentally it is a position, a placement of oneself." (Yancey) Prayer is about opening our hearts and minds up to feel the moving of the Spirit within us. That's not accomplished by offering God diarreah of the mouth for a couple minutes each day/week/month/year. It's accomplished by patiently sitting, patienly waiting, and patiently listening for the voice of God.
My other big problem, as the title suggests, is that I often feel that I should be shouting to God through the distraction of life. Last night I had a Bible study with one of our middle school guys and at various moments between praying and reading Psalm 139 I had to let the dog out lest she pee on the carpet, get a toy for Levi, put the phone away because it kept ringing, and in the meantime focus on what God was doing. Praying at the office is a matter of hurrying through a few words because even as I pray I'm continually thinking of things to add to my to-do list. Even if God hears me, is He just listening and waiting for me to shut up and be still?
At the youth ministry conference I attended last week Randy Harris briefly talked about his time spent a few summers back with hermits in the desert. He went to the desert for 40 days of prayer. "40 days of giving God my undivided attention," as he put it. I feel very intimdated by that because I have trouble praying for 4 minutes. I have a feeling that that's because my perception of prayer is way off base. I see prayer as me talking to God rather than vice versa. Perhaps when a person really comprehends the power of being still and listening to the Holy Spirit move and work, 40 days isn't quite enough.
I look forward to spending time reading Yancey's thoughts on prayer. More importantly, I look forward to commiting myself to the pursuit of understanding prayer as God intended.
While I'm only a few pages in, I can't help but think of what my "prayer life" currently looks like. I will occasionally put everything in my office aside, turn my chair away from my desk and computer, rest my elbows on my knees, interlock my fingers, close my eyes and softly speak to God for a few minutes. After running out of things to say I sit in silence for a moment, giving God the opportunity to speak back if He would like, then, after hearing nothing but silence, I return to whatever I was doing before I told God everything I wanted Him to know.
Something just doesn't seem right about that.
Right now Levi is laying on his bed waiting for me to bring a treat in his room and put it on his baseball stool. I told him I would put a piece of candy in his room tonight because he was really good today, and in the morning when he wakes up he can eat the treat. But in an effort to get him to go to sleep I told him that I couldn't bring the treat until he was sleeping. I tried hyping it up by comparing it to Christmas, but he's not really buying that. He's now called out to me twice to tell me that he's asleep and that I can go ahead and bring the treat in. When I walk past his room he quickly shuts his eyes as hard as he can and slowly peaks out to see if I'm watching him "sleep." I'm not sure how to convince a 3-year old that sleep is more than just laying still and closing your eyes.
In the same way I'm having trouble grasping the fact that prayer is more than just closing your eyes and softly whispering words into the air. Prayer, like sleep, is a state of being. Prayer is not words, it's time spent deepening our relationship with an invisible God. "...prayer only seems like an act of language. Fundamentally it is a position, a placement of oneself." (Yancey) Prayer is about opening our hearts and minds up to feel the moving of the Spirit within us. That's not accomplished by offering God diarreah of the mouth for a couple minutes each day/week/month/year. It's accomplished by patiently sitting, patienly waiting, and patiently listening for the voice of God.
My other big problem, as the title suggests, is that I often feel that I should be shouting to God through the distraction of life. Last night I had a Bible study with one of our middle school guys and at various moments between praying and reading Psalm 139 I had to let the dog out lest she pee on the carpet, get a toy for Levi, put the phone away because it kept ringing, and in the meantime focus on what God was doing. Praying at the office is a matter of hurrying through a few words because even as I pray I'm continually thinking of things to add to my to-do list. Even if God hears me, is He just listening and waiting for me to shut up and be still?
At the youth ministry conference I attended last week Randy Harris briefly talked about his time spent a few summers back with hermits in the desert. He went to the desert for 40 days of prayer. "40 days of giving God my undivided attention," as he put it. I feel very intimdated by that because I have trouble praying for 4 minutes. I have a feeling that that's because my perception of prayer is way off base. I see prayer as me talking to God rather than vice versa. Perhaps when a person really comprehends the power of being still and listening to the Holy Spirit move and work, 40 days isn't quite enough.
I look forward to spending time reading Yancey's thoughts on prayer. More importantly, I look forward to commiting myself to the pursuit of understanding prayer as God intended.
posted by CoryJones at 10:11 PM
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